Such are the Dreams of the Everyday (Cold-Weather-Sports-Hating) Housewife

I’ve been trying to catch the Winter Olympics results on the newscasts. Always curious to see just what kind of nuts want to doom themselves to perpetual, year-round winter so they can practice for three years and 50 weeks for international contests with other nutty cold weather athletes. 

My What to Do In Cold Weather When You’re No Athlete and Not Ashamed List:

1a  Clean refrigerator; results in

1b  cleaning out extra dishes that had spoiled food removed from them; results in

1c  reorganizing of food storage (aka forgotten food spoilage) containers. 

2a  Notice cupboard shelf holding food spoilage containers is dusty and sticky; results in

2b  removing containers; results in

2c  washing shelf with soap and water; results in

2d  once again stacking and reorganizing; results in

2e  saying out loud, to no one in particular, “Why do I now have one that won’t fit in?”; results in

2f  scratching head, throwing container in willy nilly and slamming cupboard shut. 

3a  While sitting down to recover from container adventure, see the grime-covered window blinds; results in

3b  filling pail with warm, soapy water and retrieving sponge; results in

3c  counting number of slats in world’s longest living room windows – #46; results in

3d  calculation of time needed to wash both sides of each slat – approximately 4 mins per slat x 46 = 3 hours, 4 mins, plus time to change soapy water in pail; results in

3e  notice of dirty longest living room windows in the world…add 15 more minutes to allow for window washing. 

4a  Clean window blind slats highlight dirty coffee and end tables; results in

4b  sorting assorted reading material into ‘keep’ and ‘throw out’ piles, after much internal debate over which is which. 

5a  Two dogs have to go outside; results in coaxing old guy to actually get off sofa; results in

5b  handing out good-dog (and kitten, though she does not go outdoors) cookies.

6a  While feeding kitten her cookie, remember litter box; results in

6b  cleaning litter box in next room. 

7a  While in next room, observe nearly opaque layer of dust on that furniture; results in

7b  polishing of hutch, buffet, and top of fish-less fish tank; results in

8a  Collapse on sofa, after chasing old guy off.

9a  While innocently watching nightly news/Olympics update, suddenly realize how late its getting; resulting in

9b  jumping up to begin cooking dinner for the two humans who feed, attend to bathroom habits, and clean up all the dust that those animals spread around; resulting in

9c  rinsing and stacking human’s dishes for washing and putting away tomorrow; resulting in

9d  noticing eyes are causing double vision due to exhaustion of a cold, boring, winter’s day with ‘nothing to do’; resulting in

9e  collapsing in bed being the last known activity until the alarm sounds; resulting in

10a  New day; start over! 

 

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~ by saginawrobin on February 12, 2014.

2 Responses to “Such are the Dreams of the Everyday (Cold-Weather-Sports-Hating) Housewife”

  1. Resulting in a humorous, totally relatable blog post. 🙂

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