Job, My Brother

Job 6:11 – “What is my strength, that I should wait? And what is my end, that I should be patient?”

This past week…just pretty much lousy. And, God forgive me, sometimes it seems no one sees me out here. In the middle of the Atlantic. Okay, maybe just Lake Superior, treading water. Will anyone even notice if I just slip under? How long before I sink to the bottom?
I’ve had important things to do, also. Responsibilities, also. Questions, also. Circumstances, also. Hopes and goals, also. How many back seats are on this bus, cuz it seems like a loonngg black hole?

When I welcomed you to church, today…I hope you felt it. My smile, handshake and hug were genuine. I’m not at all a good faker. But it felt like I was a shadow. In a world of vibrant colors, I was a faded…gray. Because black was too strong a color to try to own.

Pls do not comment. I don’t want to feel worse because you now feel bad for me. I’m not so much seeking sympathy, as I am just trying to prove to MYSELF that I still exist. If I can only see what I’ve written. Words used to be my soul. To keep from slipping under just a few minutes more.


~ by saginawrobin on August 13, 2016.

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