Un Common Non Sense

  tessier.robin@yahoo.com

Okay, folks. This is my first foray into “blogging.” Hey, I figure I might as well find an outlet for all this frustration and angst! Ahhh…the blessings of growing old (and snarky)! Forget that “…I shall wear purple” stuff! That’s not releasing enough angst!

This is the same stuff most everyone is faced with on a way-too-often basis; I’m just silly enough to mouth off about it. Please feel free to join me.

Just a couple Robin rules:  No name-calling and disagree with R-E-S-P-E-C-T (cue Aretha belting it out). This is my blog, you are welcome to start your own. I think this is my former self; the very young and idealized self who once very badly wanted to be the super reporter on the six o’clock news…It is not my intention to make fun of any certain individual, but rather at faceless/nameless stupidity and intolerance, in general. This sums up my motto for my blog:

“You have the right to disagree with me; I can’t force you to be right.” HAAAAA!

Sometimes I’ll want to talk about the silly or ridiculous. Other times, I’ll want to get something serious off my chest.

Hope this makes you reflect, remember, cry or chuckle…and think, always.

“Adam’s abduction was our private hell – but it was not an isolated incident. On any given day, any number of children are absent from their homes for diverse and numerous reasons.” John Walsh, child advocate on “America’s Most Wanted.”

Epitome of Cowardice                                                                                              02/24/12

Waaaayyy too many cowards out there, today. If you think this is going to be about the military (Except to say, “God bless you, brave troops”), I’ll save you the trouble of reading any further. No political ideologies or macho BS, this time.

Very specifically, I am addressing the moral and physical cowards who are grabbing our nation’s children and harming and/or killing them.

Excuses are many. I don’t care if you had a hard, brutal, imperfect childhood (so did thousands). I don’t care if you were the poor preacher’s kid who was “so unfairly expected to be good” (GASP—like everyone else doesn’t expect their children to be good?) I don’t care if you were bullied or if you were ignored.

What I care about is that there is NO EXCUSE for anyone hunting down the youngest and most vulnerable of our society and getting kicks by inflicting their sickness on them.

No one can understand the mind of a sociopath. There is no understanding such depravity. There only is the unfortunate effect of such depravity that causes the rest of society to become aware of such monsters among us.

We no longer can watch any local or national news program without being subjected to the profound sadness and fear for our missing children. One of the saddest facts:  We hear about only the tip of the iceberg. Especially if your missing child happens to be a non-Caucasian, according to recent claims.

It is true that there are many more news programs and many more arenas in which to post news, with the advent of the Internet, etc. While we may be more “exposed” to hearing about these stories, the need and the tragedy is REAL. Our missing children are not fairy tales or the results of fertile minds and their expert storytelling. There are not enough milk cartons in the world to get the word out sufficiently. And that makes me feel like crying.

I cannot even imagine the number of police-related man hours that are devoted to such horror. My mind cannot (or outright refuses to) comprehend the enormity. That does not make it any less reality. John Walsh? He hosts “reality TV.” Same with Nancy Grace. And others I probably do not know about. It is a sick, stark, mad reality that shames us as a nation and a people.

Living in the southeastern Michigan area, there is no shortage of adults harming children, as with most large, urban areas. Make no mistake; this travesty happens in towns, villages, and rural areas, as well. Not all are kidnapped; some are beaten or neglected by their own parents/relatives or guardians–the very people a small child wants to trust the very most.

One of the most recent stories in this area is about a 9-month-old baby who was shot and killed during what appears, at this time, to be a gang-related, drive by shooting. While I was busy with chores and was not directly in front of the TV, I think I nonetheless will long remember the facial expression of who I think was one of the relatives, or perhaps friends or neighbors. This was a woman whose pain and anger was transfixing. Yet, what she said was especially gripping and heartbreaking, “You all are raising monsters around here.”

No, Virginia, there is NO Santa Claus. Achingly, Virginia, there ARE monsters. Real ones who look so human but behave so inhumanely.

Please. Educate the children in your lives. Tell them there are some bad people in the world and while they may never, ever, meet them, they need to be educated (just in case) about running away from someone they don’t know. About screaming their heads off if someone grabs them. About staying as calm as possible if, God forbid, they are taken away, in order to watch and wait for a chance to call for help or escape. Talk to your local schools or places of worship about how they educate the children about “stranger danger.” Be watchful for any suspicious behavior toward children. Don’t enable a coward by being afraid to call and tell the authorities of something that just does not sit right in your gut. And call or go in person to follow up. Don’t worry about “bothering” someone. Law enforcement people are there to serve and protect. I’ve never seen one of these public servants get in front of cameras and complain about a hesitant tip at a press conference to announce that somewhere…some little one…has been found and reunited with their loved ones. There are not enough of them to be everywhere to see everything.

KNOW who is interacting with your children in any form-personally, by phone, mail, e-mail, or Facebook. Far better to be accused of being too nosy by the voice of your child than to regret not being nosy enough after calamity strikes. WATCH your vulnerable young ones and arrange for sitters you have known long and well or are recommended by a trusted source (American Red Cross Babysitting Training Course). REPORT children who are neglected, left alone and vulnerable. We no longer can “trust” that our children can walk to the corner store or bus stop unmolested. It’s always a shame when we hear it reported in the news; however, when it happens to your family—that “shame” becomes so much more. It becomes a “real tragedy.” That should make it personal for each of us.

While, individually, we may not be able to change a monster, we can do our individual best to hinder them before the fact, and to find them, afterward. As a relative, a neighbor, or perhaps just as one of the unknown public, we can be brave for those who are taken by force to be harmed.

Thank you, God, for those parents, teachers, relatives, neighbors, law enforcement personnel, media, and all who stand up to educate us, and our kids, about the tragic reality of our lost children. Thank you for those who do even more by actively searching. They are among the bravest among us to fight the terrible monsters that attack the helpless.

Please, dear God, should it ever be necessary, enable me to stand with the brave.

For more and professional information:

www.childfindofamerica.org

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children www.missingkids.com

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6 Responses to “Un Common Non Sense”

  1. Good start with the blog, Robin. Didn’t wait to dive right in to a heavy subject. Child abuse happens in every town and usually the “monsters” are family members or friends/acquaintances. During my years working as an investigator for a mid-size, Michigan, police department one of my primary duties was the investigation of child physical/sexual abuse cases. Many times I ended my days desiring only to get home and hug my own kids. In all of the cases I investigated the victims either were related to or their care-givers knew the perpetrator (example: Jerry Sandusky, although he hasn’t been convicted). Most of the time alcohol and/or drugs were involved. Yes, it is important to teach our children to know how to protect themselves and educate them on the power they have to object to the advances of strangers, however it also is important that parents/caregivers know the character of those left alone with their kids.

    • Thanks, Dave. I intend to post a lot of “fluff” pieces, too, to keep my sanity! Thank you for bringing attention to the in-home and/or familiar monster. This blog did address only the stranger, which, as you stated, is the minority. Protection begins in the home and family, first. There are 2 schools of thought on the drug/alcohol issue: One is that a person under the influence won’t do what they normally would not do (sub abuse = excuse); the other being that our judgment is so affected that we would indulge in any taboo behavior for lack of that judgment (i.e., an insanity plea). Then, upbringing and past experience comes into play, as well, as in multi-generation molesters. Glad you were able to help some victims, though it must have been torture to see it happening year after year.

  2. Very good first blog post. I still remind my “boys,” in their teens, that there is evil in the world, and to not be afraid to talk to me or my wife. The dangers to our teenager boys is fully evident in the events at Penn State. I don’t blame Joe Paterno or Mike McQueary; they both followed the process they understood would work. I hope the system learns from their failures, and incorporates those lessons, costly lessons.
    Look forward to reading your future posts.

    • Thank you, Bud. Yes, we do need to remind even our “teens” that they are not invincible or indestructible. Plenty of news items regarding teens being attacked and/or taken. Serial killers have no problem with age.

      I think PSU handled the situation very knee-jerk-like and sent the wrong person to the hasty gallows (Paterno). Once he did tell his superior, that superior certainly had an obligation that I feel was not met. I’ll bet it hasn’t done a thing to improve their image. I’m thinking that any college-bound student (who should be an adult-or near adult) may make decisions based on how a popular staff person perhaps was mistreated, in their view. I find it noteworthy that students did not rally for the accused; but rather they did for Coach Paterno. At this point, all is assumption and circumstantial, as there is no conviction of the accused. That being said, my children were not one of the alleged abused, either. Glad I wasn’t sitting on that Board.

  3. http://www.blackandmissinginc.com/cdad/

    Robin,
    I was horrified to discover last year that missing pretty little white babies make good press while children of color are often go underreported. I have posted the stories of some of these children on my FB page and changed my profile picture to theirs. Any litte bit of attention these poor babies get might help.
    Sadly, Jhessey Shockley is now the focus of a landfill search for her remains. It looks like the woman who gave birth to her (doesn’t deserve to be called mother) tortured, killed and disposed of her in the trash. She was only 5.
    Sky Metawala, in Washington state is still missing. The woman who gave birth to him supposedly left him in an unlocked car while she took his older sister two miles to the gas station to get help. When they returned to the car, Sky was not there. The car problems could not be recreated and there was sufficient gas to go many more miles.
    if we can only do a little bit to help these children, who are too often the victims of the ones they love and trust, then the very least we can do is try to help find them or their little bodies and get some kind of justice for them.
    And do not even get me started on that monster in Puyallup, WA who killed his little boys and blew up the house. They are most certainly in heaven with their Mama (whom he also murdered though they couldn’t prove it). That monster, it’s a good thing it’s not my call on his eternal rest.
    Linnie

    • I do remember all these recent cases, Linda. Sometimes I cannot sleep for a bit, thinking of these poor babies. I’m not sure if Sky’s sister belongs to the same Dad? Not that it matters in any significant way. In my regional area, there still is no final report that I’ve heard on little Bianca Jones, last seen with her father, who claims to have been carjacked. Thanks for posting that link, too. Remember the verse from Jesus Loves the Little Children? “Red and yellow, black and white, all are precious in His sight.” Not very politically correct, perhaps, but considering this is a song from decades ago, the sentiment still rings true. ALL are PRECIOUS.

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